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In our culture, leaders tend to focus a lot more on results than taking care of yourself. We’ve pretty much learned that taking care of your team will help bring good outcomes, but what about self-care?

Jen P. on Unsplash

It feels selfish.

But realize that driving for results also leads to burnout, as you run your body and mind into the ground in an effort to achieve ever-better outcomes.

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I grew up in Colorado, which means I really enjoy the variety of seasons that we have. We’re now moving from the heat of summer into a more subdued, introverted time. I look forward to seeing snow-capped peaks again.

It turns out that everything goes through seasons: jobs, projects, relationships, even lifetimes. And even though we often strive for stability, changes are good too.

I’m thinking about each of my clients, who are each going through their own version of change. Many times it’s not at all clear what the next step is going to look like. That’s when our conversation can be extremely valuable.

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I’m convinced that each of us has been placed in this world for a particular purpose. And what we do in this world is to find that purpose and then fulfill our role.

Photo by Samson on Unsplash

In a religious context, some might refer to this as “God’s mission” or “our God-given gifts.” Or in secular language, it might be the “chosen mission” or “strengths and talents.”

Use whatever works for you. What makes this distinct is that it’s deeply personal and not just following what people expect of you. Or even what education you got or what your job is.

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You’d like to think that values-based decisions are easy.

Matthias Speicher on Unsplash

In some ways they might be, I suppose, but they can also be incredibly difficult. Especially when you run up against the norms of society or your industry.

One of my personal management philosophies has been to be supportive of the time it takes for people to learn something new. This got me into trouble when I refused to fire a problematic employee that others were impatient with.

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Your power as a leader stems from your authenticity in every message you give.

Jon Tyson on Unsplash

This is difficult for new leaders, because you may be less than confident about the direction that you’re supposed to be setting. Fine.

But this is something you grow into as you mature.

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Uncertainty is an inherent part of being in business.

Артём Мякинник on Unsplash

Of course, it runs directly counter to what we want to do, which is planning. And in a previous career, I was directly in this dilemma, creating disaster plans and alternative scenarios and backups.

Unfortunately, business results come from doing stuff, not from planning. So how do you deal this this?

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Why is it so hard to get something new started?

Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash

I think this picture gives us a clue: Because the challenges ahead seem insurmountable and scary.

I might make a mistake. They might think I’m a fool. I don’t know exactly where I’m going. I don’t know what the best first step is.

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I need to ask … are you an actual human being?

Jake Nackos on Unsplash

A few years ago that question would have been really weird, but with the advances in AI it has become a bit more serious. But, in this case, the real question is whether you bring your humanity into your leadership.

What I’m talking about are things like:

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I’ve noticed that people are quite uncomfortable with complicated situations: we’re always looking for a single root cause.

Or a straightforward categorization.

Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

This has ultimately led to huge polarization in our society, where people are pulling apart into camps.

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It’s straightforward to fight AGAINST something – injustice, your competition, even government regulation. In fact, we often use that as the first definition of “fight.”

Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

My observation is that fighting FOR something is actually more powerful, more motivating, and attracts more helpers. But it’s a bit harder, because you have to have a compelling view of that positive thing you’re fighting for.

Fighting against something is based on fear. But the first response to fear is simply to run away in whatever direction occurs to you at that moment.

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