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Being a leader can be lonely. You feel like you are being watched all the time and you have to act like you have it all together.

I get that.

But here’s the challenge: to ask for help when you need it. Which takes a little vulnerability.

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The other day I was having a conversation with some of my coach friends, and the concept came up about having a “disputable goal.” I confess that I’d never heard the phrase before, so of course I found it fascinating.

The idea is that when you have a goal, it should be possible to disagree with it. But why is this useful?

Imagine that you’re building an organization, and you really care that the people get along with each other well. So your goal is to “handle conflicts professionally.” Sounds good, right? Who could possibly think this is a bad thing?

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Perhaps you’ve noticed that some relationships have drifted a bit over the recent months. The fact is that all connections will tend to wither if not tended to, and communication has become difficult.

For me at least, it seems like I’m doing a lot more communicating than I did last year. With end-to-end Zoom meetings and a deluge of emails, I certainly am having many conversations. But are relationships suffering?

Well, there are different levels of communication. Humans are inherently social animals, and we need regular interaction to be happy and get things done. Yes, even introverts.

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