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The other day I was having a conversation with some of my coach friends, and the concept came up about having a “disputable goal.” I confess that I’d never heard the phrase before, so of course I found it fascinating.

The idea is that when you have a goal, it should be possible to disagree with it. But why is this useful?

Imagine that you’re building an organization, and you really care that the people get along with each other well. So your goal is to “handle conflicts professionally.” Sounds good, right? Who could possibly think this is a bad thing?

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I tend to avoid conflict. There, I said it.

But problems and disagreements do arise. We can blast social media with our opinions and viewpoints, all perfectly valid of course. 

The problem is when it gets personal: I’m trying to move forward, and someone is blocking my path or otherwise giving me anxiety.

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I get it. People are a pain. Employees. Customers. Random people in the store.

Not you, of course. You’re perfect. But everybody else is so annoying sometimes!

So how do we deal with this reality? Well, first, it’s about recognizing that this is the human condition. We’re all flawed and make mistakes.

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DISAGREEMENT IS NATURAL, because we’re human.

I’ve recently had to work on this, both for myself and for clients, and have some thoughts about building a graceful reconciliation.

It’s important to realize that you’ve entered a zone fraught with emotion, so treating this with logical arguments isn’t likely to end up with a great result.

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