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I need to ask … are you an actual human being?
A few years ago that question would have been really weird, but with the advances in AI it has become a bit more serious. But, in this case, the real question is whether you bring your humanity into your leadership.
What I’m talking about are things like:
Read the rest of this entry »How often have you received help from a person you respect? I’ll bet it’s happened quite a bit.
So what is it that keeps us from asking for that help? Pride, mostly. A leader is the person who’s supposed to have all the answers.
This is a fallacy, of course. We just don’t want people to find out that we’re also just making it up as we go along. With experience and judgment, of course, but not with certainty.
Read the rest of this entry »Sometimes things just don’t go right, and it can feel a bit lonely.
I find that this loneliness tends to come from pulling inward and not wanting to “burden others.” That’s understandable.
This seems to be especially true in our current age, where we share good news and hide bad news – at least at the personal level.
Read the rest of this entry »It sounds counter-intuitive, but a business owner can feel very lonely.
That’s because he or she doesn’t feel like they can really open up and be vulnerable about their business decisions. For their employees, they’re supposed to have all the answers. To their peers, they feel like they have to “play the game” and speak about nothing but success and amazing performance.
And for their spouse, they don’t want to worry them that business issues might disrupt their family life.
Read the rest of this entry »Every human needs to be connected to other people.
Unfortunately, people are all flawed and make mistakes. Compounded with the messiness of communication, you end up with chaos. That’s what it means to be human.
But we know all that. What I’m focusing on today is that connecting with others is an act of becoming vulnerable. It’s risky.
Read the rest of this entry »Being a leader can be lonely. You feel like you are being watched all the time and you have to act like you have it all together.
I get that.
But here’s the challenge: to ask for help when you need it. Which takes a little vulnerability.
Read the rest of this entry »You’re the boss, so you have all the answers. Right? Yeah, not so much.
I sure try to show confidence in my leadership roles, but that only works up to a point. Inside, I feel a variety of emotions, both positive and negative. Occasionally even cluelessness.
You know what? The people I’m with know that too. They know that we’re all just doing the best we can – hopefully succeeding more than failing.
So if we’re all just making it up as we go along, why do we seek out confidence? Because it’s about our desire for control and stability. If I don’t feel in control, then I’ll seek out others who look like they are. Even though I know that’s partially an illusion.
How should leaders deal with this? The key is honesty.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could get to the point where you’re honest with your people? Where you could say that you’re proceeding on the basis of partial data and educated guesses?
Yes, that opens up vulnerability. But it also creates trust that you’re telling people the real story, not hiding information.
What’s the next step you want to take on showing that kind of honesty?
SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE I’m drowning.
It’s not because I’m particularly messed up or disadvantaged. I’m just as human as anyone, and we all have our challenges.
The question is what we DO about it.
MANY CLIENTS I WORK WITH experience a sense of isolation.
It’s not that they don’t have lots of people around them, but that they’re stuck with the idea that they can’t open up to their friends, employees, and partners. Sometimes that’s why they hire a coach.
We always find that there are more resources at hand, though. It’s really more about getting hung up on the idea that you need to have all the answers, and look professional.
BRENÉ BROWN IS AN AMAZING storyteller, researcher, and expert in social sciences.
I hope you’ve had a chance to see some of Brené’s amazing TED Talks in the area of vulnerability. They’re insightful and powerful.
I’ve been making the connection between this topic and the clients I’m working with. Because starting and leading a mission-driven business takes courage.
The Values-Based Business 