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I have an appointment set up, then sit in the coffee shop for half an hour wondering why they didn’t show.

vitor camilo on Unsplash

Did I write it down wrong? Did they decide I’m a jerk? Were they turned off by that email I sent yesterday?

The truth is that it’s never about me. People have lives and distractions. And to be honest, I’m not the most important part of their life.

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There’s a lot to worry about in the world today. And it seems that media and social media are designed to magnify that worry.

Nik on Unsplash

But the truth is that you have a choice here.

After all, there are a billion things you DON’T worry about. Because you don’t even know they exist, and they don’t affect you.

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Humans are amazing pattern matching machines!

Omar Flores on Unsplash

We especially focus on anything which makes us feel endangered – our reptilian brain takes over before we even notice it’s happening. Or can think through it.

But why is that a problem?

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Any time I see a “proposal” or “recommendation”, I cringe a little.

Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

The problem is that this almost always entails adding work into whatever system we’re talking about. Want to improve marketing? Add more money, more people, more work. We should start this valuable program? More money, more work, more time.

That’s how we get overloaded.

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We are in a time of preparation before the year-end holidays.

Photo by 13on on Unsplash

When I was a child, I could never wait for the excitement. School holidays, new snow, Christmas gifts, meeting up with family … the anticipation was almost too much to bear!

I’ve had to learn a bit of patience. But this also applies to business and my various volunteering roles.

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I’ve discovered that Joy and Hope are a key part of coaching. Indeed, of the human experience.

Choice Magazine, Vol 23 No 4

After all, why would you work with a coach if you can’t have hope for a better, more joy-filled future? Something you want to improve and change?

Clients usually come to me worrying about a problem. Something feels broken in their life, career, or business. Or they’re looking at an opportunity they’re worried about. So we’re starting at a point which certainly doesn’t feel joyful.

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Humans are social creatures; witness how important it is for us to maintain connections to family and friends during holidays and other celebrations.

Helena Lopes on Unsplash

This is true in the workplace as well.

I’m usually an introvert, which means I build my energy more by being alone than in a group. But even for me, some of the highlights of my career were when we accomplished something as a team. Together.

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Twenty years ago I used to think that many problems in the workplace were fundamentally communication issues.

Icons8 Team on Unsplash

I’ve refined my thinking since then.

The problem with this mindset is that the solutions seem obvious: More communication. Clearer communication. Stronger communication. But the fact is that we’re incredibly over-communicated these days, and it’s overwhelming and stressful.

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I love it when a plan comes together.

CharlesDeluvio on Unsplash

But here’s the problem: How often is your perfect plan disrupted by reality? It seems that surprises always come up, whether good or bad.

Your job as the leader is to help your team navigate through that mess in real time.

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A common mistake is to send someone to a class, then throw them right into using the information.

Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Makes sense, right? Just-in-time training!

The problem is that there may be entirely too much pressure on proper execution on the first try. You may not want million-dollar decisions relying on a newbie’s skill without some kind of safety net.

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