When Damar Hamlin was injured in the Monday football game last week, it reset our thinking about who these players are and how much we demand of them.

It was hard for us to see everything suddenly stop – for minutes, then for an hour, and then the game was indefinitely postponed.

This brought to mind other challenging situations I’ve seen over the course of my career. Many years ago I observed that all it took was to tell my boss that “I have a family emergency” and all of a sudden all other priorities dropped.

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Hurrah, it’s a new year! We all had our holiday celebrations, right?

Time to get back to work. But that doesn’t sound like as much fun. Or, depending on your industry’s seasonality, you might be trying to energize for a real grind ahead. I feel for you, tax people.

But let’s keep that sense of lightness just a little longer, shall we?

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At the end of the year, it’s common to work on employee evaluations. Which can be a real downer for everyone involved.

If you think about it, they’re not really doing much about what can be affected: the future. So we’re doing it to justify how we have to make management decisions about pay, promotions, job roles and such.

The employee doesn’t get much value out of the whole experience, to be honest.

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One of the great things about working in a large company is that there are predictable seasons. You can get into a rhythm of work hard, play hard.

But since I started my own business, I had to get much more intentional about it. I could decide whether to work on evenings, weekends, holidays, and any other days special to me.

I got to define what “holiday” meant to me, personally, and work my calendar around that. Even avoiding workshops on Sundays.

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I started my career as an engineer, in an engineering company. So the idea of displaying emotions in the workplace wasn’t exactly normal. We liked driving things by logic and analysis.

Photo by tengyart on unsplash

So I struggled as a new manager to work with people who thought about this differently. What I’ve learned is that we’re all three dimensional people, with our own lives and complexities.

Kids and animals get sick. Marriages are formed and fall apart. Loved ones die. Career prospects move forward or back.

These are all heavily emotional times, right?

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I went through a training class recently which really opened my eyes to the different ways that people relate to the world around them. I’ve noticed that this is one of the primary sources of conflict between people. And of course I’ve experienced that directly!

Because I have my own way of thinking about the world and life. And I tend to relate to others using my own mindset.

The good news is that there are some very useful models which help you to understand your own way of thinking, and how to best relate to others who are different.

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Last week I talked about giving your folks a great start in your organization. So what about the other side – when people leave? I know, I know … sometimes you just want to part ways and minimize the pain.

But the truth is that there are still implications even after they’re gone. Perhaps they’ll refer your next great customer or employee. They’ll probably be talking about their experience to friends and associates.

So it’s in your best interest to have a good breakup. People do move on, after all, and it doesn’t always mean you’re a bad person.

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How much do you actually design the experience for the new person on your team? I ask, because so much of that person’s attitude is going to be formed by what happens on that first day.

Imagine that you’re going into a store that you’ve never seen before. You heard some positive things, so decided to check it out on a whim.

You’ll know within the first two minutes whether this is going to be a place you’d like to come back to. The layout. How attractive the products are. Whether someone welcomes you. Even the smells and sounds.

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Our society is all about working hard, achieving, and getting results. As a result, the business environment can be quite cruel towards employees.

As the leader, you’re tempted to just let people work themselves into the ground – it’s their own decision, right?

But you’re the one who sets the culture for your organization. And you know it’s poor reasoning to let your people burn out. So what do you do?

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I’ve had several opportunities open up recently, all while I’m trying to make sure I don’t get over-obligated by signing up for too much. It’s a common problem for many of us these days – we’re all so busy and distracted.

But there’s a way through these kinds of decisions, based on my goals and my values. Some things align, and others don’t.

Of course I also look at the long term implications of what I say yes to. Some things are simple, and don’t require an ongoing obligation or a lot of effort. I can say yes if I have some time and it looks like it aligns.

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