It’s become quite the thing to identify people as Extraverts or Introverts. And now Ambiverts, and I’ve heard “I’m an Extravert with Introvert tendencies.”

It’s almost as if these terms didn’t really mean much anyway.

Let’s face it, these are tendencies that we learn as we grow up. To some degree they might be innate, but most of it is learned from our families and friends. It’s not like the color of our eyes, which is controlled by genetics.

The difference is that these are learnable skills. So labeling someone as having an identity to one extreme or the other is really just putting them in a convenient box.

I learned this when I was starting to go out and network to build my business. I had thought of myself as an Introvert, which created a barrier for me accepting the need to go out and “become an Extravert.”

So I just decided that this is a learnable skill, which it is. I didn’t have to BECOME anything, I just had to LEARN some new things. And I enjoy learning.

Even to the degree that some people are surprised when I tell them I’m more introverted.

The best distinction I’ve seen is that Extraverts get energy by being with people, and Introverts build energy by being alone. That seems useful, and consistent with what I observe. So all I need to do after being in a super-outgoing event is to have some “alone time” in which to recover. Because it’s sapped my energy.

But I find it a lot more useful to think of certain activities as needing more of my extraversion skills or introversion skills. Both are useful and necessary.

But it’s just skills which can be learned.