Stages of purpose

I had a great discussion with someone recently who is trying to figure out what their life will look like in retirement.

They were right to identify that a key step is to figure out a new sense of purpose, no matter how clear or incomplete that might be. And it occurred to me that this is something which happens during your entire life, as you go through various stages.

At a particular point, the top focus may be to establish yourself in an area of expertise (maybe “career”) which can bring you good income and inspiring work. Your timeframe for that might be 5 or 10 or 40 years, but it becomes a central part of how you choose to spend your time and energy.

Another phase is when you’re sliding into parenthood. This drives your energy into nurturing and developing these children into having great lives.

I find that it’s common for men to prioritize the career/income purpose while women often focus on parenthood, which can lead to disconnects when you reach the end of that phase of life. Like: what does “parenthood” mean when your kids are all launched and out on their own? It can be disorienting.

A most common stage these days is what we used to call “retirement”. I put that in quotes because so many people resist even using the word, finding it confining and even demotivating.

The way through this is to realize that you have the opportunity to create, to choose a new sense of purpose. It’s about finding that thing which inspires you to spend your time and energy in certain areas.

It’s different for each person. And because there’s no particular deadline, it’s common to wander around for awhile, even years.

Wandering is OK, because that in itself becomes a purpose and can be quite enjoyable.

Dabble. Play. Investigate. Learn.

And you don’t have to commit to it for the rest of your life unless you want to. You’re the boss now.