I’m currently in a season of recognition and appreciation for the people I’ve been working with.

It’s actually a pretty interesting topic, primarily because it depends so much on the existing relationship and the cultural context.

We all remember that appreciation should be timely, specific, and honest:

  • Timely: Showing appreciation for something which happened a month ago just doesn’t have much impact, unless we’re talking about a big long-term contribution. So “timely” depends on duration and whether people have mentally moved on to the next thing.
  • Specific: We want to appreciate what that person did to create a better result, and why the result matters. If it feels like you’re praising me for something that I didn’t contribute to much, then the whole experience seems hollow. And if I don’t feel that the result actually mattered, then I wonder why you don’t appreciate the contributions I think DO matter. Help me make the connection.
  • Honest: We all know what “honest” doesn’t look like: manipulative and agenda-driven. We want to be free of all that, which means using straightforward language.

The challenge is that this all depends on the current relationship with your team and individuals. Over time, they’ll figure out what your communication style is. But when you’re new, or people are nervous about the situation, they’ll be trying to figure out if there’s some kind of larger objective in play.

There’s not much you can do about that, except to keep it straightforward and honest. They’ll learn over time.

Culture is more complicated. There’s a culture in your organization, in the community, in the country, and all the different cultures we all grew up in. Having this mixture can be really joyful, but also creates confusion and misunderstanding.

I may talk more about this in the future, but for now … think about what you’re saying, and what assumptions people will make about it. And then pay attention to their reactions because there will always be mistakes and misunderstandings.

We are human, after all.