Last week I talked about three views of resilience. But that opens up the very uncomfortable question of whether “normal” even exists.

It’s easy to get depressed about all the chaos and uncertainty which seems to surround us. I feel that way myself sometimes.

But then I realize that it’s just requiring me to develop a new set of skills. And even though I’ve never been a surfer, I like to think of it as “surfing through the changes.” I like the image because, to me, waves seem very unpredictable and abounding in chaos.

So what are the new skills?

First, to realize that all of the past has just positioned me for where I am right now. It doesn’t really matter exactly how I got here as that I am here, ready to use my situation to move forward. I can respect and even honor the past, but I can’t repeat it.

That opens up the second skill, which is to be ready. Ready to act, and to be flexible because I don’t really know exactly what’s going to happen. And I’m ready when I know what my core values and goals are.

To be ready is to be energized, too. I don’t want to just react to stuff that happens to me, I want to move into making intelligent choices. And to move forward. I can best do this when I’m optimistic that there are always good choices to make, and that it’s important I make them.

Which leads to the fourth skill, which is learning from everything I do. I try to be very observant about what’s going on in the world, while not becoming depressed about it. I look for what seems to be working and not working, to myself and others.

I’m old enough to feel that I can trust my knowledge and instincts, especially to know the limits of where I should ask for help. This is difficult as I feel buffeted around, but it’s much better to trust myself and move forward with a little bit of confidence,