Filling the Void

I’ve discovered that Joy and Hope are a key part of coaching. Indeed, of the human experience.

After all, why would you work with a coach if you can’t have hope for a better, more joy-filled future? Something you want to improve and change?

Clients usually come to me worrying about a problem. Something feels broken in their life, career, or business. Or they’re looking at an opportunity they’re worried about. So we’re starting at a point which certainly doesn’t feel joyful.

And our culture seems a bit confused about what joy really means. Is it having fun? Is it reaching a milestone? Is it contentment?

I’ve found that joy is a state of mind, and a choice. Despite the challenges ahead, I can choose to be happy with my circumstances. That might be my job, my family, my body, or my relationships. Sure, there are things I’m working on, but I can still find joy in where I am right now.

The world seems to want you to be constantly unhappy and dissatisfied. Advertisers won’t be able to sell you stuff if you’re happy with where you are and don’t see a need to spend money with them. Our culture seems rather sick in this regard.

But coaching should be different, because we strive to help clients work toward the deep joy which doesn’t rely on your looks or achievements or the size of your bank account. In the end, those are transient and external things which only give short term pleasure. They can be important at the time, but not provide meaning and purpose.

I’ve pondered the phenomenon that achievement and acquisition seem entirely unconnected to the state of joy. Many people we’d consider poor can be happy with life, while others seem unhappily stuck on the endless treadmill of acquiring fame and fortune. They’re deeply troubled despite showing outer success.

When I look back at my life, the most joy-filled periods were when I was doing deeper work. I was changing in important ways and learning powerful things, even though it may have been in tough circumstances.

At the time I might not have described myself as being happy. But I felt a deeper sense of purpose and that I had some power to make decisions to move in a positive direction.

I recognize that was a deeper joy than just having fun and accomplishing things.

This is why I work hard with each client to start the engagement with capturing their goals as well as their purpose and motivation behind those improvements. I’m getting a sense of the type of joy they’re seeking, even if they wouldn’t use that language.

This is why “joy” is a deeply personal thing. Each one of us has a unique purpose, and we spend an entire lifetime seeking to fill that void. Somebody like a gifted coach can help put words to the vague concept, which can then unlock useful action. From that comes progress.

And from that, perhaps even the joy of fulfillment.

This article was first published in Choice Magazine, the publication for professional coaches. If you are interested in reading more choice articles, use my special coupon code, AUTHOR25, to receive a 25% discount off a print, digital or combo subscription: www.choice-online.com/catalogue