Lightness

Work sure feels like a burden many times.

But you have a lot more control over this than you might think. You see, the pressure you’re feeling comes not from the many demands on your time, but on how you respond to those demands.

I’ve learned this lesson when I suddenly had a big life disruption and hand to “check out” from my work tasks. And you know what? The world didn’t fall apart.

Sure, I got behind on some things. But when I told folks that air travel had been shut down for a week, or I got really ill – people understood. And cut me some slack.

Because we all know things like that just happen.

Now I don’t want to be that guy that is viewed as unreliable. I take my promises seriously, which creates pressure on me to not miss commitments.

But I DO have some control over what commitments I take on. And when things go south, I can re-set expectations. Even if it’s a phone call saying “sorry, that isn’t going to get done. It’s just not possible.”

I had a client some years ago who told me that “it’s impossible to say no to my boss.” It was absolutely burning him out.

So I took him through this exercise:

• What would happen if these demands exceed your 24 hours in a day? That it’s truly impossible?
• What happens if you get sick for a couple of weeks (because with this pace, that’s going to happen)?
• Have you ever had to say “no” to ANYbody?
• What’s your boss’ backup plan if you leave (because that’s going to happen eventually)?

What he found was that he still had some agency in what was happening to him. Yes, he didn’t feel comfortable and had to experience some rough feedback, but it made him stronger. He developed confidence and felt lighter.

We’re all made stronger by going through tough situations.