Everybody wants to be loved, to be recognized, to be appreciated. We don’t often use the word “love” in business, but it’s still in our nature.

It’s especially crucial for a place where you spend about a quarter of every week.

If you’re an effective leader, you know this. But it’s difficult to figure out what your team needs, both as a group and individually.

The easiest way to figure it out is … ask them. OK, so “what’s your love language” might be just a little too touchy-feely for your culture. But there are other conversations you can have around:

  • What makes this job fun for you?
  • How would you like to be making a difference in the future?
  • How can I help?

Notice that these are all stated as positive questions. I could just have easily asked, “what really gets on your nerves about this job?” but that puts people in a negative mindset. And we all have times we want to complain, but it’s not really productive. That’s what can make social media really annoying these days.

What we’re looking for are ideas around:

  • How can I make this better?
  • How would YOU like to help make things better?
  • What does a better future even look like?

And we never actually have to use to the word “love” if we don’t want.